When you live life with reference to a point outside of you, you begin to speak sentences such as “nothing ever really happened” or “nothing matters in any way” or “it just apparently happened.” You begin to see this “apparent” apparitions everywhere. In other words you become an “alien” to yourself. Of course, you won’t admit this. You would much prefer to call yourself, after a recent trend, “a non-dualist,” “a Adwaitin”. If you just copy a few lines daily from The Buddha, Ramana, Rumi or Shankara on a social network medium like Facebook, you would be read and ‘liked” by many “aliens” like you, who have never read, except may be very cursorily, any of these or even other authors like Osho, Papaji, Eckhert tolle, SriAurobindo, Wayne Dyer or Gina Lake in any depth. I don’t really hold it against you for not having read a great deal. I know very few people read beyond the today’s newspapers. But living life with reference to a point or centre outside of yourself will likely to give rise in you the characteristic symptoms of being an “alien”. You will be an alien even to your inmost emotions and feelings. Then you will begin to see the “apparent” apparitions everywhere.

When hungry, instead of saying “I feel hungry” you will say “apparent hunger has apparently effected the apparent me.” When sexual thoughts, desires or sensations arise in you and demand their fulfillment, you will say “apparent sexual desires have apparently arisen in the apparent me”. In other words, you will have become an ‘alien’ to yourself, masquerading as a great non-dualist thinker. Of course, you will have a coterie of friends and acquaintances, all ‘aliens’ and “jombies” like you; you all will “like” each others’ “apparent” regurgitations. Anyone from outside of your coterie who shares his/her own “lived experiences” will be branded by all of you as “a person with a big ego,” or “another ego speaking,” whereas the real egoists are you and your “alien” friends.

These “aliens” masquerading as non-dualists or Adwaitins, have some other things in common. One, they have nothing to share of their own, their own “lived experiences”. Osho, probably keeping in mind these “aliens” or their tribes, these seers of “apparent” apparitions everywhere, said,”Borrowed truths are dead truths. Buddha’s truths were living truths for him, they are not living ones for you. Since when have you made them your own? Since when have you lived them? If you have loved someone, then you can call that experience your own. If you have not loved anybody but have hated someone, then even you can call that hate as your own. That becomes your truth. Then I want to listen to your experiencing and sharing of that hatred because that is the only authentic truth you know. Don’t tell me of your borrowed wisdoms. They are all there in the books, dead and powerless. No need of parroting them to me, or anyone else.” Of course, these “aliens” won’t admit that even “experienced” hatred can be true and powerful and unlived truth can be dead and useless.

Truth can be messy and not beautiful, according to your notion of beauty. For instance, sex is a beautiful emotion, but it may not conform to your notion of beauty. So when you see it outside, you may call it ugly. You disown the guru who has sex and venerate the one who poses as if he has conquered it. The spiritual men who admitted that they had sex gave you the most problems, because they went against your idea of spirituality. Osho gave you the most problems. When Wayne Dyer in a lecture, referring jokingly to his having eight children, said,” What am I ? A solar powered (putting one of his hands lightly on his bald head) sex machine?” He probably gave many of you the same kind of problems. When Marianne Williamsons was asked why being a woman she was not going to vote for Mrs Clinton but for Mr Obama, she replied, “ I am not going to vote with my vagina..” She probably put many of you in the same kind of problems. Because how to adjust this messiness of truth with your idea of beauty and truth ? How can a spiritual person name certain bodily parts and functions? So also when some new facts come to your notice regarding Gandhiji you feel disturbed. All challenge your cherished notion that saints should be sexless. But how can you fit truth into a mould of your own?

This topsy-turvy of value happens when your reference point for experiencing things is placed outside of you. But your heart or true self or the inner Guru sitting within you never tells you a lie. In every situation, at every moment, if you can sense what your inner being whispers to you, if you can take heed to its prompts, you will find all truths residing in you. Then if you feel hungry, obeying the inner prompts, you eat; when sleepy you sleep; and when you feel the urge for sex you have sex. Then you don’t ever have to say,”I am apparently feeling an apparent hunger.” Instead you take your meal and say,”I have taken my meal and I feel satisfied”. You never say, after having had sex that “After all, it never really happened” or “ It just apparently happened”. Instead you say,” I have had sex and I feel relaxed and happy.” In short, living even a few minutes only with reference to the centre in you, you have once again reclaimed your own self, your own treasure house of wisdom, truth, beauty, peace and joy and have unknowingly dropped your “alien” status which you had egoistically thought and clutched to your heart as your nondualistic Mahatmahood. But are you willing to shed your “alien” status? Are you willing to say good bye to your “apparent” apparitions ?

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Susan Zinowsky, Debra Banks, Irene Harvey and 14 others like this.
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Carolyn Wind thank you, Paresh~~♥
April 20 at 10:15pm · Unlike · 2 people
Amal Gupta ‎@ Paresh:// Are You Willing To Shed Your “Alien” Status? // No I am not 🙂 …. I gave my views as a comment in your previous Note….. I just returned from India… had wonderful 3 days at the Bandavgarh Tiger Sanctuary….. saw one ti…See More
April 20 at 11:28pm · Like · 1 person
Steven Steensels Wonderful essay, again, Paresh. You have a real gift to put people’s noses (not to use another word) back at the right place, even if most of your commentators seem to believe you’re only promoting libertine sex. Excellent note, my friend, about the real tragedy which is the way we have thrown out the universe and ourselves…
April 21 at 1:13am · Unlike · 2 people
Carmen Pentek Simply brilliant, Paresh! Thank you so much for such a wonderful and clear wording of what I was feeling over the past couple of months and trying to express in my statuses…

As I said earlier people who are important and close to me as wel…See More
April 21 at 2:35am · Unlike · 2 people
Carmen Pentek ‎(BTW what a beautiful ping pong of notes between you and me in these days… must be the full moon, I guess…;)
April 21 at 2:54am · Unlike · 1 person
Tim Hartman Paresh, thank you for this note. Very well said. We haven’t spoken much recently, but I see your posts, even though I don’t always comment on them. I can’t wait until I have (a few) breaks this summer…I’ve had a lot on my mind, but not…See More
April 21 at 3:16am · Unlike · 4 people
Grace Ana Kenealy Pareshiji, my dear friend who is ‘Employed by the Self for enacting in this bodymind role’, not only are you a healer with observations & a magician with words, but you are a trend-setter too! :). I love it all xo
April 21 at 6:04am · Unlike · 2 people
Paresh Chandra Mangaraj Love you Grace, dear friend.You are one of my inspirations,my teachers too. Your whiplashes too are enlightening. Thank you for being with me always and doing all these publicly and privately too.
April 21 at 6:13am · Like
Grace Ana Kenealy ♥♥♥♥♥ i can only see what’s inside of me ♥♥♥♥♥♥
April 21 at 6:17am · Unlike · 1 person
Paresh Chandra Mangaraj Grace, I can also see those lovely bare feet walking on a beach towards sunset, full of the spirit of adventurer and out on a mission to explore the world for herself. I too walked with those bare feet and experienced the world with those wonder-struck eyes.Please do continue sharing with me all your adventures and “lived experiences” with me. I would love them because I love you. Thank you for all things.
April 21 at 6:30am · Like
Paresh Chandra Mangaraj Thank you,Donna J.Brooks,Donna Marble and Carolyn for liking/ commenting on this note so spontaneously. Thank you Daniel and Tim for your extremely encouraging and appreciating words. Thanks Bill for calling this an important note and also for a most vital observation which many have liked with me.
April 21 at 6:46am · Like
Paresh Chandra Mangaraj Dear Carmen, playing ping- pong with you has been a daily booster and energizer for me.Connecting with you in any way is like connecting with a live wire, it gets all my motors running. It also keeps me young by associating with a child like playful,curios and lively mind. In your words it keeps all the needs of all my electrons fulfilled. Thank you for what you are, a blessing for mankind, dear friend.
April 21 at 6:55am · Like · 1 person
Carmen Pentek Oh, wow, just when I thought that everything that you could possibly say positive was already said you managed to find new words of praise! I am again and again impressed by your eloquence and kindness. Thank you, dear Paresh. Yes, when we …See More
April 21 at 12:06pm · Unlike · 1 person
Sudhir Jain Dear Paresh I have some different opinion about your beautiful note being truthful about your own experiences and sharing them is definitely a virtue but judging others that too without meeting them and just by reading their posts is in my …See More
April 21 at 12:40pm · Unlike · 1 person
Sudhir Jain what are borrowed experiences? those that you do not experience but can’t I feel the depth of your experience by listening to your experience and share that with others is it wrong ? what is compassion it is feeling the pain of other though not going actually through pain himself so being compassionate is wrong?
April 21 at 12:45pm · Unlike · 2 people
Sudhir Jain I think very few people will share some quote or statement by others just to get a high it is like when you are full of love you overflow and you need to share I think that’s when people share thoughts and sayings of great persons.
April 21 at 12:49pm · Unlike · 2 people
Sudhir Jain just my honest thoughts Paresh about how “I” understood your post please correct me if I understood in a wrong sense.
April 21 at 12:57pm · Unlike · 1 person
Sharon Samtur PEOPLE write books and tell of their Experiences..just as people here do.
April 21 at 1:08pm · Unlike · 2 people
Sharon Samtur Do you have to touch a hot stove to learn by EXPERIENCE not to do it or can you learn that from the experience of someone else and be wise and not hurt yourself on the hot stove to learn. The wisdom is in the discrimination of whose experience can teach wisdom. If one cannot learn from others, one is self-centered and without wisdom. Sounds, Carmen, like a teenage rebellion…
April 21 at 1:13pm · Like · 1 person
Robin Harger Hi Paresh, we have not conversed much at all but I take the opportunity to do so now because I think we may have something to say to each other. I very much like the tenor of this post of yours because for one thing it emphasizes that all w…See More
April 21 at 2:11pm · Unlike · 2 people
Julia Day Hello my luminous Brother ♥ inside a medium of beautifully articulated words and images upon a screen, the intimate Being/Paresh cries out for authenticity, Presence & honesty through direct experience of the True Teacher within ♥ …. but…See More
April 21 at 7:34pm · Unlike · 3 people
Alyce Walker Paresh, I simply love this. And you for speaking and sharing your heart so clearly. Much love. ♥
April 21 at 7:54pm · Unlike · 2 people
Alyce Walker PS– still catching up on your other notes, as I’ve been mostly off-line for a week. (Living my non-alien life) 🙂
April 21 at 7:55pm · Unlike · 1 person
Carmen Pentek Writing authentically comes directly from the heart. Considerations like “am I judgmental?” “am I politically correct?” “am I sounding mature or like a teenager?” just destroy the spontaneity and authenticity, it slows us down and already p…See More
April 21 at 9:58pm · Unlike · 1 person
Julia Day dear Carmen, to clarify where i am coming from, metaphysically, its not about what others think or social convention, etc ~ In truth, there are no others, only my projection of a “them” … so what i think about others comes right back at m…See More
April 21 at 10:43pm · Unlike · 4 people
Carmen Pentek Oh, yes, Julia. Agree with you. Had other comments in mind, not specifically yours 😉
April 21 at 10:44pm · Unlike · 2 people
Carmen Pentek One more thought came up when re-reading Julia’s comment where she said that judgment would lead to suffering…

I can not speak for Paresh, just speaking for myself now, because I very much agree to Paresh’s note and feel that he perfectly …See More
April 21 at 11:29pm · Unlike · 2 people
Julia Day ‎(( ♥ )) yes, it was a rung in the ladder for me too 🙂
April 21 at 11:35pm · Unlike · 3 people
Aly McDonnell ‎” Buddha’s truths were living truths for him, they are not living ones for you. Since when have you made them your own? Since when have you lived them?” Nicely said, Paresh. I enjoy some reading, but a living, breathing, flowing truth is not just old words.
April 22 at 5:10am · Unlike · 3 people
Sharon Samtur Learning, growing, fully living is the path..whether one learns from a book, another’s experience, one’s own.from a child or a wise elder or a tree or leaf or bird or Holy Book .. the key is the learning .. and learning made real is made vi…See More
April 22 at 12:30pm · Unlike · 2 people
Sudhir Jain instead of encouraging a child to learn walking if we keep telling him why are you imitating me and why are you borrowing my walk then he’ll be confused about how to develop my own way of walking or for that matter speech, don’t we help a c…See More
April 22 at 12:31pm · Unlike · 2 people
Carmen Pentek I think it is always a mix of both, Sudhir. Of what we learned from others and what we have made out of it. Even such a simple thing like walking is different from person to person, you will not find two identical walks. I understood it mor…See More
April 22 at 1:29pm · Unlike · 3 people
Sharon Samtur There is diplomacy and then there is respect. Diplomacy can be a masking of truth – not good. To be respectful is always good.
April 22 at 1:33pm · Like · 2 people
Aly McDonnell I think, maybe, the point is: Do the words kindle some spark of life, some recognition, resonance or real experience… so that one is not just spitting them back out as “wisdom” but seeing something for oneself? Then the words begin to breathe.
April 22 at 5:50pm · Unlike · 5 people
Aly McDonnell PS: Then one can use one’s own words…or rest in the silence 😉
April 22 at 5:51pm · Unlike · 5 people
Irene Harvey i think what you are saying is that there are those who quickly jump from perception to conceptualization without allowing the perception to flower & flow. it’s a tricky area. very difficult for people to truly, authentically be themselves & this becomes obvious in every spiritual/religious group because seekers attempt to live through concepts, ideas & beliefs.
April 23 at 4:15am · Unlike · 4 people
Paresh Chandra Mangaraj Thank you Irene, for liking and commenting on this article.I see you rarely on my page these days,even though I tag you in most of my articles. Do you have any problems in resonating with them ? If so, I would love your criticism of them.Yo…See More
April 23 at 7:11am · Like
Sudhir Jain I really liked the statement made by Sharon Samtur filled with enlightening wisdom “There is diplomacy and then there is respect. Diplomacy can be a masking of truth – not good. To be respectful is always good.”
April 23 at 10:54am · Like
Carmen Pentek One point was not clearly uttered, yet. I don’t know about other people’s experience, but I have many times experienced quite arrogant reactions from the so-called non-dualistic people. There was no dialogue possible unless I take over thei…See More
April 23 at 3:26pm · Unlike · 1 person
Sudhir Jain opinions should not be taken as arrogance Carmen your opinion about me can be anything but is it true or not that I have to decide if it is true then it helps me to improve myself and if it is not then it does not matter at all and about ego yes there cannot be any existence or this worldly play without ego, show me an ego less person, me, you or for that matter anyone.
April 23 at 3:54pm · Like · 1 person
Sudhir Jain It is the greatest challenge for human beings to conquer or eradicate ego because we cannot find it’s roots so where will we put the treatment and if we put the treatment at wrong place then it is useless.
April 23 at 3:59pm · Like
Sudhir Jain accepting the above fact can somehow mellow down the ego i.e. ego can be turned in to positive ego( helpful for the society) if practiced correctly continuously for a long time.
April 23 at 4:04pm · Like · 1 person
Carmen Pentek Dear Sudhir, my comment was not a reaction to yours. It was a reaction to my experience with people who think they own the truth. It does not matter whether they are Catholics, claiming that “only through Jesus” one can find the truth or no…See More
April 23 at 6:14pm · Unlike · 1 person
Aly McDonnell Well, you certainly started a conversation, here, Paresh!
April 23 at 7:28pm · Unlike · 1 person
Sudhir Jain I was talking in general Carmen it was not “I” whom I was talking about, different religions are made because of different notions and paths for finding the ultimate truth so there is no need for questioning anybody’s belief because there a…See More
April 23 at 7:29pm · Like · 2 people
Irene Harvey dear paresh: it is a luxury for me to have time for facebook. the busy weeks fly by. whenever i do go on, i try to respond to all the notes, & i know i fall short quite often. your notes are always intriguing & i hope that you do not stop tagging me. it is simply a question of time, not resonance.
April 23 at 8:01pm · Unlike · 3 people
Carmen Pentek Dear Sudhir, I was indeed talking about the attitude of “I found the truth and know how to reach it. All other paths are wrong.” I encountered this attitude among many Christians, many Muslims and many Non-dualists. One more thing that anno…See More
April 24 at 4:08am · Unlike · 3 people
Sudhir Jain You are very correct Carmen in stating the above fact but point I was making was little different carmen i said the definition and understanding of the truth with each person is different so why become irritated or perturbed by their reaction to WHAT IS and let them be and we keep moving on our desired path.
April 24 at 4:26pm · Like
Carmen Pentek Yes, at the end I just move on on my own path, you are right. Maybe a little disappointed that dialogue was not possible and that I could not make myself understood. You inspired me to write a note about that topic, why we can sometimes simply not make ourselves understood, why communication at times simply fails, thanks for the inspiration, dear friend.
April 25

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