Archive for March, 2011

Yesterday I read a very sad piece of news. In fact I am a fanatic reader of news regarding crimes, suicides, tortures, extortions, abductions for ransoms, impersonations etc. because in them I find the underbelly of the society we live in, you can say a truer picture of the world and its inhabitants. To supplement it and to complete the picture, I am equally a passionate watcher of animal life videos in Discovery, Animal planet and Nat Geo channels. Yesterday’s news item ran like this. A woman of 36 in Mumbai, residing on the 9th floor of an apartment took the lift with her two children, a son (10) and a daughter (3) and went up to the top floor (18th). There she pushed both the children off first and herself jumped off at the last and all three died as they fell on the ground. The news rattled me and I felt deeply for her. What was the cause of her action, none knows so far. But I am almost sure that it was related to domestic quarrels or abuses. She was a lecturer teaching Chartered Accountancy. The Police photo of the school bag, tiffin box and water bottle of the school going son left on a balcony of the top floor of the apartment from which they jumped off was so vivid, pathetic and shocking that the memory never leaves from my mind.

Not a day passes in which I have not been able to read such sad news. Crime news fascinate me because real men and women are involved in them as victims and oppressors.

From my personal experience I am frequently tempted to draw a conclusion that it is the women who are responsible for all domestic violence, tortures etc. But as if to prove that I am very much wrong there, I am flaunted such pieces of saddest news daily where women are the victims too. So no easy generalizations, holding one sex responsible for the hell that human situation has become, merit truth. Both are probably equally responsible. Men and women enter into relationship for making their passage through life an easier one with hope of full companionship and cooperation both in times of joy and sorrows, trials and tribulations. But something goes wrong and soon both turn against each other. Instead of protecting the other from outside aggressions and dangers one’s own spouse turns the aggressor, the tormentor and in some cases the killer.

I am still haunted, even if six long years have gone by since then, by the photo of a woman hanging by a saree from the ceiling of the house she lived in. She was killed by her own husband, who was a truck driver and after a long period of absence had returned to her just the night before. To show that it was a case of suicide he himself hung her from the ceiling after killing her by asphysiating. The poignancy of the scene, to me was here that the woman had put on a white cotton thread, which is called Sudasa Brata(the auspicious thread) around her arm just above her elbow only on her last day on the earth, that all married women of Orissa, a land where 300 million people live besides myself, celebrate for the welfare of their husbands. The woman must have been happy and pleased to find her husband return to her on a very auspicious day so that her celebration of the day for him should not have gone unnoticed and unappreciated. But little did she know that no such loving thoughts were there in his mind. He killed her, hung her and fled with their only child, a daughter of 3. I often wonder what happened to that child with such a father on the run! That picture of the woman hanging with that Sudasa Brata on her arm will never go out of my mind.

Why do men and women abuse each other? What are the impendiments in love ? Birds and animals love their mates and raise their
little ones so devotedly, why can’t we ? Even when abused, why do men and women commit suicide ? I don’t think any other man is
so abused by his own spouse and children as I am. My whole body is filled up with bruises and wounds inflicted by them. I am being abetted to take poison myself, subjected to unimaginable tortures; but no thought of suicide ever crosses my mind. On the contrary, while their torturing frenzy is at the highest, an irresistible giggle or laughter takes me over and a saying commonly attributed to Buddha comes to my mind. “ When you realize the perfectness of everything that is, you simply tilt your head back at the sky and laugh. ” What more perfect absurdity can there be than your own spouse and children abusing you, when their comfortable life style is financed, supported and helped in every possible way by you. They themselves earn nothing but spend everything that you only earn! So at this perfect absurdity I laugh and dispel any idea of suicide. Of course, it is another matter that I get a lot more kicks and blows and bruises for this unaccountable, and for them unacceptable, laughter.

Probably there lies one of my best shock absorbers to think this world as absurd and perfect at the same time. In logic a thing cannot be both, they are bound to be mutually exclusive. But in life they can and do co-exist side by side. It only requires a little bit of practice to see both in life in abundance and see the humor and the pathos underlying most life situations. Another one is that niggling idea running always at the back of my mind that “this one too shall pass”. Any experience, good or bad, must pass leaving place for subsequent experiences. I have a third and very sturdy shock absorber too. But better than myself I would let its author speak it in his own inimitable words. “You are not in this movie, unless you choose to perceive yourself to be. You are, in fact, watching it. And the seemingly unrelenting circumstances that have you in their grasp are, in fact, illusory devices that you have created to instill certain levels of awareness and understanding. Each blow to your pride, each disappointing outcome, is no more than an instrument of your own will, a symbolic prop with which you, as the consummate playwright, sought to mirror yourself.” It is by Rasha. Last but not the least one of my most dependable and never failing shock absorbers is a passage that was first shared with me by my friend Julia who to me is a living embodiment of the message too. I cannot improve on it, so I quote her in full here.

“Forgiveness offers everything I want… What could I want forgiveness cannot give? Do I want peace? Forgiveness offers it. Do I want happiness, a quiet mind, a certainty of purpose, and a sense of worth and beauty that transcends the world? Do I want care and safety, and the warmth of sure protection always? Do I want a quietness that cannot be disturbed, a gentleness that never can be hurt, a deep abiding comfort, and a rest so perfect it can never be upset? :-)) All this forgiveness offers me, and more. It sparkles on my eyes as I awake, and gives me joy with which to meet the day. It soothes my forehead while I sleep, and rests upon my eyelids so I see no dreams of fear and evil, malice and attack. And when I wake again, it offers me another day of happiness and peace. All this forgiveness offers me, and more. 🙂 Forgiveness recognizes that what I thought my brother did to me has not occurred. It does not pardon sins and make them real. It sees there was no sin. And in that view are all my sins forgiven. I who would not forgive must judge, for I must justify my failure to forgive. Forgiveness is always a gift I am giving to myself, not the person I think I’m forgiving. I’m the one who receives the benefits, in both practical and metaphysical terms. Yes, I’m also acting as a reminder of the truth to the other person. All thought has effects on some level, and it’s good for the other person too. Not that the other person is really there. We’re talking about a seemingly split-off aspect of my own”.

Alas, that woman who jumped off from the 18th floor of that apartment yesterday along with her son and daughter didn’t have any such robust shock absorbers built into her. I wish all my readers to occasionally check on their shock absorbers because they can only save them should such crises ever occur in their lives. And mind it, a chain is only as strong as its weakest link.


It is by constant inner growth that one can find a constant newness and unfailing interest in life.There is no other satisfying way.Sri Aurobindo.
“When you realise how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky”.Buddha.
“When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves”.Buddha.
“He is able who thinks he is able”.Buddha.
“If you could see the miracle of a single flower clearly,your whole life would change”.Buddha.
“Forgiveness paints a picture of a world where suffering is over,loss becomes impossible and anger makes no sense.”
“Fear binds the world and forgiveness sets it free”.
“Acim- a teaching in pure non-duality that uses quantum forgiveness as a practice to undo our dualistic split mind,revealing our True self throughout all that we dream exists in time and space”.
“Know thyself and thou shall know all the mysteries of gods and of the universe”.Sarah Coner.
“IT is not our abilities that define who we are but our choices”.
“Love is all you need,forgive yourself and forgive others;Embrace love and attract love”.Enza Currenti.
“Sadness,depression,sorrow and despair.These are the emotions that guard the gate to spiritual transformations.Don’t turn away or these feelings will become your constant companions.Move into them,like diving into a huge wave and inviting them to dissolve your sense of self.There is a cosmic surprise waiting on the other side”.Benny Silverman.
“Love changes everything,but itself never changes.Love is another word for Reality,for the Presence,Potential from which all things arise.When we love,we give birth to all possibilities.When we love,we create a universe.”Richard Young.
“In meditation we recognize that the true nature of the individual is emphatically non-individual.”Roger Thompson,the psychologist.
“Silence puts you in intimate contact with your surroundings”.Ramana
“Averse to showing off her wisdom,she could not flatly contradict even anyone holding an evidently wrong opinion.”Swami Nirvedananda on Sarada Devi.
“I am a secondary character in other people’s stories.I know that whatever people say about me is just projection of their image of me.It has nothing to do with me.”Don Miguel.
Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in foreign languages. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.
—Rainer Maria Rilke
You need not leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. You need not even listen, simply wait, just learn to become quiet, still, and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked. It has no choice; it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.
Franz Kafka 1883-1924
The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.”
Richard Bach in Illusions
The ultimate truth is so simple; it is nothing more than being in one’s natural, original state. Raman Maharshi
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
~Antoine de Saint-Exuperey
“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.”
~Carl Jung
The fear of the lack of love is one of the greatest fears on the planet. It is also the strangest one since Love is what I am when I stop looking for it.Benjamin Smythe.

We can reject religion, ideology, received wisdom, but we cannot escape the need for love and compassion. DALAI LAMA
Justice is but a false sense of insurance formulated by man to regulate his own society and tagging his version of ‘God’ for added measure. In the all-encompassing, ever-equilibrium, self-regulating constitution of nature, there is no justice – only consequence.
Rumi describes this wonderfully:
“This being human is a Guest House. Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door smiling, and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”
We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens.
What we experience now is all that there is; take the path of acceptance and not resistance. ~Dean A. Banks, D.D.
Wherever you live
Whatever work you do
With whomsoever partner you are
See the beauty in it
Try to see it.

For nothing is permanent
We might wish that a situation changes
But only when it really changes
We also notice the beauty
That lay in it.

By that time it is too late to enjoy it
It again only exists in memory
Just like the wish to change
Existed in the mind. Carmen Pentek.
Why are you unhappy?
Because 99.9 per cent
Of everything you think,
And of everything you do,
Is for yourself —
And there isn’t one. Woo Wei Wei.
Tension is who you think you should be.
Relaxation is who you are.

~Chinese Proverb
Him whom I went out to seek, I found just where I was: He now has become myself whom before I called `Another’!
………………………………. Kabir
What they are is people who care and they do it the way they know how. It is not what they do but that they care that long
as they don’t shove their view down your throat but offer it as a possible piece of the pie. Look at the heart!! There you will find whether their “philosophy” is valuable or hindrance. And isn’t it a mirror?
Sharon Samatur
I attempt to listen to what is speaking, rather than what is being said. It helps me to see the core issue… Jennifer Levine Gomez.
Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.” Frankel.

CHOOSE love; bring love out of lust. Let your life be a life of alertness, so whatsoever you do is done in such awareness that only that which is valuable is chosen, and the valueless is left. The whole life is nothing but a great effort to choose life against death, to choose love instead of lust, to choose God instead of the world, to choose beauty, good, truth, instead of falsities. Osho.

Because I tend to be skeptical in general, the wisdom of Buddha, Jesus, Ramana Marharshi appealled to me because they advised there was nothing to believe and everything to discover. They encourage us to investigate and inquire for ourself and use critical examination and personal experience as the most powerful truth. Lifeless, inert dogma lacks the living intelligence of our radiant true nature. Robin zak.
“Spoken words disappear into silence when silence is listened to as the truer wisdom.

See thoughts as distraction and silence as communication now. Disregard all thoughts in favor of the wisdom of silence.”
When one is perfectly quiet, One’s perfection is quietly revealed.” – IT (Inner Teacher)
“Simply do this: Be still, and lay aside all thoughts of what you are and what God is; all concepts you have learned about the world; all images you hold about yourself. Empty your mind of everything it thinks is either true or false, or good or bad, of every thought it judges worthy, and all the ideas of which it is ashamed. Hold onto nothing. ~ ACIM lesson
You are really in search of yourself, without knowing it. You are love-longing for the love-worthy, the perfectly lovable. Due to ignorance you are looking for it in the world of opposites and contradictions. When you find it within, your search will be over. ~ Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj