Yesterday my wife, with a bowl of hair dye in her hand, approached and requested me to dye her hair. I said,”you know, I don’t like dying hairs myself, so I have let them be as they are. If yours are getting white you also let them be that way. Moreover, I am 55 and you are 51; we are no longer young, so why hide it, show them in their true colors.”
She said,”You are saying that because yours are still mostly black. But mine are all white. You don’t know, once you have started dying then you can’t quit it, as dying itself turns all your hairs white.”
I said, not without a little bit of mischief,”I have never seen your head in its silvery white as you always dyed them black. Do show me your white hair just once to know how you look in them. So don’t dye this time.”
What she said in reply, I will never forget.
She replied, with a kind of vehemence and forcefulness in her voice and a livening up in her appearance, “If you want to see how I look in my all white hairs, then look at my mother or your mother and imagine and visualise for yourself. But if you still want to see first hand, you will have to live till I am ninety. I assure you that after ninety I will never dye my hair.”
I saw suddenly a new aspect of her emerging before my eyes; her eternal self in which her present appearance arose for just a limited period to be again submerged in the end in ItSelf. I was flooded with emotions of evanescence of our forms and the immortality of what we are in essence. Yeats’ ‘my body like a battered kettle tied to a dog’s tail’ came poignantly to mind illustrating starkly the contrast between the eternal, undying Self and this mortal and corruptible body. My wife in her earthy and unintellectual way was probably feeling the same starkness of the contrast in her and didn’t quite like what she saw in her face, hairs and body–the ravages of Time mocking at her. In her effort to stem the rot, she was applying dyes on the surface to keep her external beauty in alignment with her sense of beauty within–a losing battle, no doubt, till she fully realised that she was Beauty, Love and Truth in essence. At that instant I was enveloped with an acute feeling of love and compassion for her on the awakening in my heart ushered in by the subtle intimations of immortality life so often and on so many occasions sends us but we fail to decipher.
I took the bowl of dye and the brush from her hand and dyed her hair as little clumsily as I could but most lovingly and mindfully.

Like · Comment · Share · Delete 


      Ellen Trump This is beautiful. 

      July 29 at 9:26pm · Unlike ·  3 people

      Elizabeth Patrick Wonderful! We women often like to colour the gray, silver, and white in our hair–not in an effort to hold onto youth as such, but to hold the fort against what time is doing to us outwardly–lessening the outward appearance as it improves the inward. We strive to keep a balance between the two. 🙂 I grayed prematurely–a legacy from my father–and found my my first gray hair at age 16. Abet your wife in colouring her hair for as long as she wishes–it means her spirit is strong. 

      July 29 at 9:29pm via Facebook Mobile · Unlike ·  3 people

      Steven Steensels This is so well written, Paresh, I think I – for a moment – saw you seeing your beloved wife fully realising the Beauty, the Love, the Truth she is in essence.
      Thank you for this privileged moment and sharing of lucidity. 

      July 29 at 9:38pm · Unlike ·  7 people

      Maureen Yeomans thank you for sharing that ‘seeing’; for a moment, I too ‘saw’. 

      July 29 at 9:54pm · Unlike ·  4 people

      Jennifer Levine Gomez 

      This is lovely. A moment of Truth. Thank you.
      I often face this type of question… and I attempt to listen to what is speaking, rather than what is being said. It helps me to see the core issue… in this case: fear. (What else?) And…See More
      July 29 at 10:03pm · Unlike ·  2 people

      Susan Welsh What a beautiful way to magnify the loving marriage,you and your wife share. To love unconditionally is to shelve your personal self awareness and beliefs. To feel love in it’s natural state; beyond judgment. Respecting your own beliefs in the same time space as others; no matter how they may contradict ♥ Thank you for sharing this story, Paresh ♥ 

      July 29 at 10:18pm · Unlike ·  2 people

      Shaila Doshi Reminds me of the time when my mother-in-law ,suffering from cancer, in her last days ,had the beautician come over to wax her hands and thread her eyebrows…she wanted to look beautiful for the last part of her journey! 

      July 29 at 10:20pm · Unlike ·  2 people

      Margaret Drummond So beautiful Paresh! – tears of love,joy and bliss! – ♥ 

      July 29 at 10:20pm · Unlike ·  4 people

      Susan Welsh Definitely falls in the category of must share, Paresh! 

      July 29 at 10:23pm · Unlike ·  2 people

      Ishvari Lockhart all the back of my hairs stood up, the stark and very raw Simpleness in Being present..Bow with ♥ ♥ 

      July 29 at 10:28pm · Unlike ·  4 people

      Soniya Aurora 

      pareshji, your honesty in sharing in lucid detail the awakening of immortality of the divine love within us when we overcome n the self acceptance of the illusion of our beauty n youth. what impressed me was the unconditional love of u for …See More
      July 29 at 10:29pm · Unlike ·  2 people

      Georgia Westphal 

      Regardless of what the calander says about our age we all have the immortal inside holding hands with all the ages we have been before, child, teen, young adult. I think in many ways women are more in tune with these various stages of our…See More
      July 29 at 10:43pm · Unlike ·  4 people

      Elisabeth Sexton Paresh this is beautiful with understanding kindness and love and full of compassion for your loving wife!! Blessings to you. Love and Lights~ 

      July 29 at 10:58pm · Unlike ·  3 people

      Anna Farrell A tender sharing -so lovely thank you Paresh 

      July 29 at 11:12pm · Unlike ·  2 people

      Alan Jacobs thanks for sharing this intimate experience with a moral too. 

      July 29 at 11:53pm · Unlike ·  2 people

      Tom Adams A beautiful personal sharing, my favorite kind! Thank you. 

      July 30 at 12:13am · Unlike ·  2 people

      Julia Day We see the body or Behold The Spirit ♥
      Thank you so much for beholding the Pure Spirit in your Beloved, reflecting your own, my own, our One Source as eternal perfect Love ♥ Great Gratitude ♥ 

      July 30 at 12:14am · Unlike ·  1 person

      Irene Bradle How beautiful this is! Thank you so much for sharing. What a wonderful love and caring you have for your beautiful wife. You are both blessed to have each other, my dear and thoughtful friend. 

      July 30 at 12:18am · Unlike ·  1 person

      Unity Walker I thank you for ever so lovingly and mindfully dying “our” hair for “us.” How lovely, Paresh Ji! I don’t dye my hair, andat 61, I have some gray, but still waiting for it to turn as gloriously white I as Itself wills. Many thanks for honoring my sister’s request. Namaste. 

      July 30 at 12:20am · Unlike ·  1 person

      Louise Christian Beautifully written…and experienced…:) 

      July 30 at 12:23am · Unlike ·  1 person

      Anthony Amrhein Awesome. You may have died in the dye 😉 

      July 30 at 2:26am · Unlike ·  1 person

      Susan Armaiti Zinowsky 

      What a love ly and beautiful story, dear Paresh…thank you for sharing this! I just read it to my husband and we both are really touched. You know, you are blessed with your Shakti, who wants to stay beautiful, also on the outside.. I’m su…See More
      July 30 at 2:49am · Unlike ·  1 person

      Jackie Muscoreil 

      Mine changed to a platinum white at 36…tried dying it and then one day, I said…there must be a reason that God wanted me to have this color now and not the brown. Ok…I went out shopping and many people asked me what I did to my hair t…See More
      July 30 at 3:10am · Unlike ·  2 people

      Irene Harvey 

      i love how you learn from everything, paresh. you intuitively understand the metaphorical quality of life.
      & that being said, i’m with your wife–all that talk of inner beauty is very well, but they are going to have to pry my cold, dead han…See More
      July 30 at 3:36am · Unlike ·  1 person

      Jackie Muscoreil 

      hahahahaha….with the ingredients that are now being put into our moisturizers, etc…..we will soon be calling them ‘weapons of mass destruction’ and time will not be an issue..hahahaha. When I read what is in the beauty creams that I hav…See More
      July 30 at 3:48am · Unlike ·  1 person

      Lori Schwegel A+ Paresh…you write so well..I love the story! The little things in life create a much larger understanding between us all. 

      July 30 at 3:52am · Unlike ·  2 people

      Nana Trianasari I like your story Pareshji,,,Thank you for sharing…In every corner of life, there is always opportunity for a little kindness…that means alot for those who receive.. 

      July 30 at 4:06am · Unlike ·  3 people

      Hélène Lalaire While reading you daer Paresh,came to me the lovely song…
      “I see your true colours shining through…” ♥ Blessings 

      July 30 at 4:25am · Unlike ·  4 people

      Carmen Pentek 

      Beautiful, Paresh! Nice story-
      Also here women usually dye the hair, but it is complicated with all our different hair colors, the dye never really matches the natural color, so it is almost always a disappointment…
      I have dyed my hair as a…See More
      July 30 at 5:04am · Unlike ·  1 person

      Pudugram Vaidyanathan 

      Nice heart warming story. Yes, your are right, most of us want to be eternal youthful, alive, frozen in time. And the external mortal self is the only thing we can easily work upon and control, to some extent. It is not possible for most hu…See More
      July 30 at 6:56am · Unlike ·  2 people

      Shira Lee Blessings to You and to your Beloved….it is a gift to read this sharing. Thank you! 

      July 30 at 7:35am · Unlike ·  1 person

      Tom Clausen great feelings of seeing the heart in yourself and in your wife … lovely and very enriching… gratefully, t 

      July 30 at 8:22am · Unlike ·  1 person

      Beatriz Dantzler What a kind and loving soul you are, dear Paresh! Lovely story! What a gift to get home and find this sweet, touching and loving note on my page! Thank you sweet friend and much love to both of you, always…♥ 

      July 30 at 8:53am · Unlike ·  1 person

      Ayaka Torna Ruben I wish I had u during my growing age u would have been a pillar. Nice piece the juxtaposition of words is a thing of must mention 

      July 30 at 11:21am via Facebook Mobile · Unlike ·  1 person

      Kelli McGowan wow wow wow thank you thank you thank u 

      July 30 at 12:22pm · Unlike ·  1 person

      Paula Gsell What a wonderful story, you are such a kind , loving soul, bless your heart. When I started to grey and tried to dye my hair, I found I was alergic to dyes and I was forced to be natural, at first I didn’t like it, but as time passed, I have come to love my white hair! 

      July 30 at 5:54pm · Unlike ·  1 person

      Parvez J Daruwala beautiful story,,, humor blended with compassion,,, undelrlying which,,passion ! Thanks fro sharing. 

      July 30 at 7:55pm · Unlike ·  1 person

      Jill Richling-Thesman Your story brought tears to my eyes. Thank you. 

      July 30 at 8:22pm · Unlike ·  1 person

      Grace Mendoza Wow my friend! You are growing like crazy and she is one of your teachers in life!! You are both mirroring each other. Thanks for sharing story of “awakening” ……….. Loveyou very much! 

      July 30 at 8:55pm · Unlike ·  1 person

      Nessa Boswell Thank You x 

      August 3 at 3:04am · Unlike ·  1 person

      Nana Trianasari Dear Pareshji, once again,,thank you so very much for this inspiring note..
      Love & Light,

      August 7 at 4:56pm · Unlike ·  1 person

      Richard Kogerup I really like this Pareshiji , a heartfelt moment ! 

      August 12 at 3:50am · Unlike ·  1 person